Ongoing conversation

John: If after a lot of disagreement and putting it before God etc. etc. a decision cannot be made but one must be or the consequences, let say it is financial, who should make it? Lets say the guy says, "Hey I am easy, you make it." Then let’s say it is a wrong decision. Who takes responsibility for the wrong decision. Let’s say the woman. What then?

Trevor: All that I'm suggesting here John is that both marriage partners discuss and pray about the issues before God and both come to consensus about what is the right path and both take responsibility (and blame) if it turns out to have been an unwise decision. Where an issue arises that affects one marriage partner more than the other, the one who is most affected should have the larger portion of input. If there appears to be a stalemate the couple continue to wait on God until they can agree about a direction to take. In Liz and my case we don't consider buying anything or spending any money on ourselves without consulting the other person, apart from buying gifts for each other. Then we love to retain the element of surprise as an expression of our devotion to one another.




John: What is taking responsibility mean, fixing up the muck up? So then the wife goes off to work to fix it and pay for it.

Trevor: If both made the decision to do something, it doesn't have to have been financial, it may have been something to do with a child's discipline or welfare and it appears to go wrong, then both take responsibility and both seek, before God, for ways to put it right. Let's face it John, in some instances women are better trained and more financially savvy than men. In these cases surely the woman needs to be given more input in family budget planning. Some women are employed as corporate CEO's, or financial managers, should they turn a blind eye to financial matters at home because that is considered to be solely the husband's responsibility? The Proverbs 31 woman was obviously an astute person with a sound business acumen for which she is highly praised. In our own case Liz previously worked in the banking sector and I felt that it was a good thing for her personal well-being to manage our finances in the midst of the the tedium of childrearing.