There has now been some ongoing conversation on this topic. I will post excerpts of it here in stages as my reply got a bit long for one post.
Trevor: Thanks for keeping on coming back on this one. I know that it's very difficult for you to take on board the way of looking at things that I'm suggesting and in some respects I'm reluctant to continue rocking your boat, knowing that you are doing good in your marriage with what you have learned about how marriage should work with the whole headship thing. I'll answer what you've written, in a different colour, between the lines of your own comments.
John: There is something that my soul as a man is finding the approach you are suggesting really robbing me of my man hood. I am continuing to hold it up to the Lord.
Trevor: John you are not the first man to have felt or said that in respect to what I am proposing. Many men have expressed that to go this way seems to rob them of their significance. For me personally it's a matter of security. I ask myself the question, "Am I threatened by the opinions of a woman?" or, "Do I have to have the last word to keep women in their (subordinate) place?"
John: If you have discovered a greater truth and I am sure it is right I will adopt it. But I am having a lot of trouble with the concept. Women just do not look right in khaki and blokes can not feed babies. We are different.
Trevor: There is no question John that we (men and women) are biologically different. The issue here is that society constructs what is accepted as masculinity and femininity. Our job is to unravel what is a biblical and God ordained (or designed) picture from that which has been stereotypically cast as masculine or feminine from the world, or host culture's point of view. It disturbs me that God is blamed for behavioural gender differences and expectations that I don't believe He designed or intended at all. Much of the discussion in this area is not taken from Scripture but from family tradition or accepted norms within society at large. A lot has been written lately that is in the public domain, like "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," to point up the impossible communication differences between men and women. These concepts are embraced without question by the Church to back up why men should lead and women should follow. Never mind the fact that the guy who wrote the book is Buddhist by religious persuasion. All I am saying is that we should search Scripture to see if God highlights these apparent differences. I don't believe that you will find anything to back up that notion. There is no pink and blue theological position even hinted at in the Scriptures. We share a common humanity and are different only in our biological function.